Mono

"Having a one way love affair is not just hard; it's stupid."

Some regard it as one of human's greatest mistake. To be foolishly letting oneself to suffer and to moan alone. To admire and to praise from afar.  Not forgetting to frown due to jealousy of the people around her; even though not meeting each other.

While some also take it as another way; a unique of loving another person. Could be that some people are better of admired from afar. Rather than to get closer and later on to hurt each other until hatred arises.

So which is it? Can it be both?

"Sometimes we spend too much time thinking of the people which most probably didn't even had us across their minds."

Another thing that will most probably come across here. Why? Is it because there's nothing or no one else to think of? Mental contamination? Or maybe is it just pure emotions? More questions here. Explainable? Yes, but not to anyone else but yourself. 

"Emotions - weakness or strength?"

A very subjective question that one must answer without the interference of any other people's intelligence or self eradicated emotions. A question that  WILL have different answers from different people. As they say; results may vary.

It does weakens a person when sorrow hits the spot. Putting people into miserable thoughts and desires. May even wear  and tear that person physically once it is out of control. Hence, might even KILL.

In another way it does the opposite. To be optimistic and to work harder for that desire. To not give up when one is on fire. To ignore all negativity when focused. To seal darkness when the light arises.

"How?"

More, and more questions. Can emotions be control? Like having a delete button in ourselves? Yes we can. Through religion, it is possible. As simple as that. But have we done it? Or will we? A question which the answer is only for each and everyone of us to know alone. As for Muslims; sollat, zikir, Qur'an readings, and many more will help us here. It is just matter of doing it.  

Dream = Mimpi

"I dream of you last night. At least you were there in my dreams. Even though I'd have to wake up and live with the fact that not in the reality."

Memang benar. Aku termimpikan si dia. Adakah ianya petanda yang dia juga mimpikan ku? Kebarangkaliannya tidak. Lihat saja pada realiti. Mungkin aku masih ada sedikit tempat di hatinya. Namun sangatlah sedikit jika dibandingkan dengan orang lain. Sungguh kecil aku di pandangannya.

"I wish she dream of me too."

Namun jika dia ada berada bersamaku pada ketika ini, aku kurang yakin yang dia akan mempercayai kata-kataku. Apa yang aku mimpikan. Apa yang aku rasakan. Jadi biarlah ianya jadi memori yang indah bagi ku... Huh? Bukan. Angan-angan indah. Ya. Itu adalah lebih tepat.

"Don't waste your tears to a mortal being like her. Save it for yourself. Save it for God."

Aku tidak nafikan yang ini. Tapi aku lemah. Tersangat-sangat lemah. Lebih-lebih lagi kepada dia. Mungkin kedengaran seperti kurang siuman. Namun inilah yang dipanggil cinta. Tetapi adakah cinta ini akan bertahan lama? Atau adakah ianya akan tersemat selamanya di hati tanpa pengetahun orang lain? Wallahu'alam.

"Memahami adalah satu perkara. Menerima adalah sesuatu yang lain. Memahami & menerima adalah gabungan persepsi, konklusi & perbuatan."

Adakah aku merepek? Persetankan. Ini adalah apa yang aku rasa & fikir. Ini adalah logika aku. Ini adalah aku.

*persepsiku, pemikiranku, andaianku, konklusiku

Aku & Kini

Pegi mampus orang nak cakap apa. Hari ini aku nak luahkan hati & perasaan kat sini.

Ya. Aku tau sebab dah sekian lama aku tidak berbuat sedemikian rupa. Tapi ini blog aku. Tak suka boleh  tekan Ctrl + W.

Ya. Aku tertekan. Belajar? Duit? Perasaan? Kawan-kawan? Semuanya telah berubah dalam masa yang sangat singkat bagi aku. 

Kini aku bukan lagi bergelar mahasiswa.

Kini aku tidak lagi di bawaj tanggungan penuh ibu bapa ku. Walaupun ditawarkan, terpaksa aku menolak kerana aku tahu mereka pun kesempitan. Jikalau ada lebih akan aku hulurkan kepada mereka juga.

Kini kawan-kawan aku telah banyak berubah disebabkan oleh persekitaran mereka & juga orang-orang di sekeliling mereka.

Kini aku dalam perhubungan yang tidak pasti hala tujunya. Hanya redha pada Qada' & Qadar dengan usaha mana yang aku termampu.

Ya. Aku tau Allah SWT menguji aku. Dia hanya akan bagi ujian yang hambaNya mampu tempuhi. Tidak akan lebih mahupun kurang. Wallahu'alam.

Ya. Aku redha. Aku terima. Namun cara aku menerima & mengendalikan diriku dalam situasi ini mungkin tidak menampakkan seperti apa yang aku kata. Aku hanya insan biasa. Malahan entah di mana aku di pandangan Tuhan. Sedangkan manusia pun kebanyakkannya memandang enteng dan tidak mempedulikan aku.

Ya. Memang aku anak tunggal. Namun itu bukanlah bererti yang aku mampu memilik apa saja yang dihajati kerana aku satu-satunya tanggungan. Bukanlah bermaksud yang saudara-mara boleh sesuka hati meminjam, meminta atau malahan mengambil kesempatan terhadap harta ibu bapa ku. Aku merayu, mereka pun cukup-cukup makan. Mereka pun ada kemahuan. Tolonglah...

Keluarga aku hanya keluarga yang sederhana. 

Hanya mampu memiliki apa yang sedia ada.

InsyaAllah... Jika Tuhan membenarkan, akan aku ringankan beban mereka ini.

Ya. Aku terasa aku semakin jauh & rengang dengan beberapa kawan aku yang pernah ku rapat dahulu. Aku tahu. Mereka pun ada hidup masing-masing. Mereka pun ada komitmen. Tetapi tidakkah sebelum ini sama? Wallhu'alam. Apa un yang terjadi. Aku meminta maaf atas khilafku terhadap kamu semua. Aku juga memaafkan kamu semua

"Biar tersilap ampun. Jangan tersilap hukum."

Ya. Aku kini telah jatuh hati kepada si dia yang tidak pasti. Namun aku redha. Akan aku tunggu. Akan aku cuba. Kerana setelah bertahun-tahun lamanya, barulah hati aku terbuka kepada seorang gadis. Ya. Hanya dia seorang ku nampak di hijab ku. Ya. Aku mengimpikan & mengharapkan keluarga Sakinah Mawaddah Wa Rahmah.

Ya. Aku tahu adalah terlalu awal untuk memikir ini tentang perihal ini. Namun, buat pertama kalinya aku merasakan jikalau aku tidak melakukan apa-apa, aku akan kerugian. Buat pertama kalinya, perasaan aku terhadap gadis bukan Muhrim bukan sekadar nafsu. Buat pertama kalinya aku ingin membawa seorang gadis pulang ke rumah untuk berjumpa dengan ibu bapa ku.
Ya. Aku sedar akan darjat ku dengan si dia berbeza. Adakah aku mampu? Itu tidak menjadi persoalan. Itu adalah matlamat. Sesungguhnya aku sangat menyayangi si dia. 

Astaghfirullah... Subhanallah...

Ya. Masalah ku tidakklah sesukar mana. Bukanlah masalah dunia. Malahan jika aku hilang pada keesokkan harinya, mungkin tidak ramai yang perasan. Mungkin tidak ramai yang terasa kehilanganku.
Namun untukku, semua ini adalah sangat baru. 

Semua ini adalah sangat asing.

Namun semua ini telah terjadi atas sebab-sebabnya yang tersendiri. Atas pilihan-pilihan aku sendiri sebelum ini. Atas dosa-dosa ku yang telah tersemat di dalam isi.

R.I.P Jim Marshall

It was the physical embodiment of rock's power and majesty — a wall of black, vinyl-clad cabinets, one atop the other, crowned with a rectangular box containing the innovative circuitry that revolutionized the music.

This was the famed Marshall stack, the amplification gear that has dominated rock stages since its introduction in the early 1960s, bestowing on guitarists the ability to achieve unprecedented volume and controlled distortion.

From the Who, Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix in the 1960s on through Peter Frampton, Van Halen, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Guns N' Roses and Nirvana in succeeding decades, the cursive "Marshall" emblazoned on the speakers has served as an inescapable backdrop signature.

The Marshall stack was so much larger than life that it lent itself to excess as well. The famous amp in the mockumentary "Spinal Tap" with a unique setting of 11 on the dial was a Marshall, and no rock image was more over-the-top than that of KISS' four members performing in front of some 40 Marshall cabinets.

Of course, they didn't need that many.

"Hendrix used three 100-watt amps and three stacks," their inventor Jim Marshall once said. "KISS go a lot further, but most of the cabinets and amps you see on stage are dummies. We once built 80 dummy cabinets for Bon Jovi. They all do it — it's just backdrop.

"It would be stupid to use more than three 100-watt amps, wherever and whoever you are."

Marshall died Thursday at 88 in an English hospice after suffering from cancer and several severe strokes, his son Terry Marshall told the Associated Press. Musicians, competitors and fans were quick to salute Marshall, who had retained an active role at Marshall Amplification well into his 80s.

Comments on Twitter came from Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx ("R.I.P. Jim Marshall. You were responsible for some of the greatest audio moments in music's history and 50% of all our hearing loss"), Slash ("The news of Jim Marshall passing is deeply saddening. R & R will never be the same w/out him. But, his amps will live on FOREVER!") and Megadeth's David Ellefson ("You made rock n roll what it is for so many of us.")

"RIP Jim Marshall. Such a huge loss for the music community," was the sentiment expressed by Fullerton-based Fender Guitars, whose Bassman amplifier served as Marshall's model when he set about to redefine the technology in 1962.

It was an unlikely undertaking, but Marshall's life had consistently defied the odds. Born in London on July 29, 1923, he saw his youth interrupted by a case of bone tuberculosis that immobilized him in a hospital from the age of 5 to 13.

When he recovered, he took on menial jobs, began educating himself in engineering, learned to tap dance and became a big band singer and drummer. He worked as a toolmaker for aircraft manufacturers during World War II, but soon music took precedence.

He began giving drum lessons and opened a drum shop in London. One of his students was Mitch Mitchell, who would later introduce him to the leader of his new trio, Hendrix. The shop's customers included the son of one of Marshall's big band cohorts, a young rock musician who encouraged Marshall to add guitars and amps to his inventory.

Marshall took Pete Townshend's advice, and business boomed. When Townshend and friends such as Ritchie Blackmore learned about his technical background, they prodded him to devise an amplifier with more power and rougher tone than the pure, clean-sounding Fenders.

Marshall took on the challenge, working with guitarist-electrician Ken Bran and hiring engineer Dudley Craven away from EMI Records to help him achieve the sound he envisioned. They adapted airplane vacuum tubes into the design, Marshall packed four 12-inch speakers into a tongue-and-groove cabinet whose top half angled slightly upward and they set a 50-watt amplifier on top of it.

They got it right on the sixth prototype, but the rock musicians were becoming intoxicated with the potential of greater volume and soon their urging led to a 100-watt amp powering eight speakers — two of the cabinets in the famed stack formation.

Marshall quickly built his enterprise into a consistently successful firm, adding midrange and low-end lines to the catalog. He twice received the Queen's Award for Export Achievement and was appointed an officer of the Order of the British Empire in 2004. He was regularly listed among Britain's wealthiest individuals.

Not surprisingly, perhaps, the man known as "the father of loud" did suffer some hearing problems. But it's not what you might think.

"My right ear is not very good at all," he said in a 2005 interview with the New Zealand Herald. "And I'd always put it down to when I was playing the top cymbal, but it was probably the brass section in the orchestras I was playing [in the '50s]. So it happened before I was dealing with rock 'n' roll."

Marshall, who was married and divorced twice, is survived by his son, Terry; his daughter, Victoria; two stepchildren; grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

-LA Times

Cake? Anyone?

Baskin Robbins' ice cream cake? That is sssooo yesterday. Lets try this one.

or maybe not -_-

Sejahtera Malaysia

Setelah sekian lama tak dengar lagi ni. Tiba-tiba aku boleh teringat masa naik kereta member aku. Rindu pulak aku dengan lagu ni. Kesian budak-budak sekarang kena membesar dengan lagu ND Lala yang tak berapa menarik walaupun anaknya Shila Amzah sangat menarik.

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